I don't know where to even start.
okay, how about i'm drunk. there ya go.
how about that I think that I'm in the most useless relationship ever. the biggest waste of time of my life.
the relationship where you think that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone until you fully realize that youve been in denial since..uh, forevever.
I dunno.
I just had a conversation that has fully made me realize that i've ruined my life for the past uh...not one not two yea three years of my life. and from this relationship that i put my whole life into, and have been affiliated with noone else, for the purpose of being with this person ...has been a waste.
i've lost FRIENDS. people i think were truely my FRIEND for this purpose my best friend even...people who were like, uhh. christina. bad choice here. and didn't listen within the first year of dating this person.....and ignored their comments. because i was screwed up believed that a person actually cares for me when in reality, i don't think really does.

I don't even know why I am writing in here...

I guess I do this when only bad things happen to me you know...so I can remember them forever. which is just retarded.

my dog got killed on Monday night. cause my sister let her out when she took the garbage out...and she ran into the street and got creamed by a car. Layla was like my kid.

i think this is possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

I don't even want to come home anymore. because she lived in my room. and she was the only thing that I looked forward to when entering my house.

5 months was all I had her. 5 months. I've been cheated out of living her life with me. It makes me sick. SICCCCCCCCK. then my dad had to freak out on Jeff, because he thought Jeff got me her because if I would of said that I spent 300+ dollars on her then I would have gotten into shit and my mom wouldve gotten into a lot of shit. anyways...if jeff wouldn't have gotten me her then this would have never happened and because my dad didnt really want the dog. he's right and everyone else is wrong. and this whole situation could have easily been prevented.

then I got the stomach flu. granted I wasn't vomiting for 14 hours or 11 hours like other family members...it was all coming out of the other end. groooosssss. haha. but i'd take having that over having a migrain any day of the week. because after that shit is all over at least you feel skinner.

speaking of migraines, my medication has stopped working for me.
awesome.

but whatever life's a bitch and then you die.

I just hope dogs go to heaven...but I really don't think they do from what I remember learning in church/sunday school.

Today is the birthday of a girl I used to know.

I say I used to know her, not because she passed away or left my life entirely, but because as I sit here and type this up, I can honestly say that as I gaze at her when she walks past, or when she smiles at me, or when she and I pause in our widely seperate lives and we speak, my heart breaks a little more each time because I can see how far apart we've grown.

I realise she and I no longer share similar dreams, that our in jokes have become stale, our laughter almost forced, a routine thrust upon us because we always have laughed at these jokes, and the laughther is so hollow, I could cry.

But I see that apart from me, she's grown, she's blossomed. I love the woman she's become, the girl she's shed, and the mixture of both when she thinks no ones looking. I love our past friendship together and nostalgia has washed over me more times than I can count.

But I need to move on and stop moping and whining that she and I are on completely different paths in life. And I see this. And I see..

I see how much happier she is this way.

Seeing her happy is so much more important to me than almost anything, and as I stand here and she stands there, I gaze at the girl I used to know, and know that we didnt mean to drift. It just happens. As they say, sh*t just happens.

But I cant deny how much happier I see her without my strangling hold on her. Its painful to realise your best friend blossomed even though, or maybe especially because you were gone from her side.

theres a need to know the difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul

When I first read that, it made no sense. But today, of all days, I realise how much sense it really does make. And I suppose that Im quitting the whining, and the superficial cries of that boy, of how she never visits and how i never visit, and im just gonna let her go.

And let her live.

Perhaps thats a better birthday present than anything I could ever ever give her.

Today is the birthday of a girl I used to know.

Happy birthday.

I didn't write this...but its pretty much like I did.

"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived." –- Margaret Mitchell

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	lips
best personality trait:	you can solve any social problem
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	yes!
when will you get married?	September 16, 2014
your kiss is:	mixed messages
People date you because:	you're cute
Quiz created with MemeGen!

ahhaha. Jeff said the funniest thing yesterday
when we were talking about fooling around with other people
and I was sayin how if Jeff was the only person I'd have sex with for the rest of my life how I would be curious if it was different with other people...but at the same time now it is insignificant because I'll probably never have the same feelings as I do for someone else and that plays a big factor when you are fuckin someone.

then he said:
"Well, we don't have to worry about other people because we have each other."

:)

or something like that.

...
why didn't I fucking go to school today??

Who will give you an orgasm? by leslie13
Name
Age
Virgin?
So, who will make you moan?	Brad Pitt
How?	By using a Vibe.
Will it be good?	OH YEAH.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I changed my friends list. maybe because I don't think that the people who I deleted don't really care about reading my shit...and or I don't need or want them to care about me. but the people I've kept are all the ones that matter.
unless I made a mistake about someone...

FLORIDA
wooohooo

I'm so glad to be back.
If me and Polly didn't act like models the whole trip then I probably would have killed myself.

no. wait. there are lizards in Florida and Sonic!
...

I like coming back and giving people stupid things I bought them.
...
MMmmmm. ((moan))
kikikikik(laugh))

...

Outer eye infection.
Sweet ass shit.

wanna know why it is so sweet?

because I have a magic eye. like Glen at DoverLake. Except I can see out of mine (when I wear my contacts). Magic meaning Left eye is smaller than my other huge ass right eye.

Courtney is calling me Winkies.
ahahaha.

;) I should take a picture.

wheres the digital camera when I need it!?

...
After checking the local weather for Orlando, Florida...I noticed a trend.
Thunderstorm
Thunderstorm
Thunderstorm....
and uh. THUNDERSTORMS.

AWESOME!
Polly. we have crazy times in that shit.

last night I drank with Jeff at the brick wall.

a lot was said. coke. which he did do on April 5th.(and that is really fucked up) work. family. making me cry. moments he's been mad.

this has to be my favorite thing to do with him.

...
I'm missing 20 dollars.
...
I'm gonna go get my haircut.
...

We are going to Florida instead of Vegas!
thank god.
Jeff-"I will have a talk to Polly's host parents about this trip"
ahahahah.
I love him.
why? I don't know.
but he's got good intentions.

1. what kind of first impression do you think you give people?
ugh. I have no idea. Just depends where I'm at. Quiet could be one. or Outgoing could be another. but mainingly I Probably seem Cool. Or so I've been told.

2. whats one thing you like to do alone?
absolutely nothing. and cry.

3. are you a giver or a taker?
Giver. Definetly.

4. what have you stolen before?
Makeup. a shirt.

5. how many drinks before you're tipsy?
I thought I was hard core but really I'm not 3-4.
6. do you ever have to beg?
Hmmmph. No.

7. have you ever done any illegal drugs?
Weed.

8. do you think you're cute?
Most of the time.

9. do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?
Hahahah. NO..

10. whats the most painful experience you've ever had
I can't put my finger on the MOST...so I'll say...Death. watching other people suffer.

11. favorite communication method?
phone

12. do you care?
I really do.

13. what is your most prized piece of your music collection?
ahaha. Garth Brooks- a cassette tape.

14. what is the geekiest part of your music collection?
hmm. that could be a number of things. I say the sound track for Now and Then.

15. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
I don't really ever raid the fridge.

16. what is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
Sweet November. ha.

17. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
A boob job.:)

18. do you have a completely irrational fear?
not at all.

19. what is a physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
smoking and crossing my arms/legs.

20. do you know anyone famous?
can't say I do.

21. describe your bed?
hawaiian print pink/orange comforter/blue blanket/ greeen and blue comforter/ 3 pillows/ queen size no bed frame

22. spontaneous or plan?
plan

23. do you know how to play poker?
Sure do.
( Read more... )

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These statistics were generated using the LJ Stats Web Interface by mpnolan. Original idea from scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard

C	Cheesy
H	Hilarious
R	Refined
I	Industrious
S	Scary
T	Tender
I	Innocent
N	Neglected
A	Adventurous

What Do You Cry Out During Sex? by twinkerbelle
Name/Nickname:
Age
What You Cry Out:	"You are so much better than my dog!"
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

1. Copy and paste this: [font color="yourusername"][b]yourusername[/b][/font] into your journal.
2. Replace [] with <>

christina_006

Who Would Be Your Celebrity Cellmate by dementedsomnium
User Name
Age
Gender	MaleFemale
Body Part
Your Cell Mate
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Date:	2004-05-11 23:21
Subject:	I'm really bored
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored

UNIQUE --

1. Nervous Habits? - Being nervous makes me pee. and I usally can't sit still.

2. Are you double jointed? -NOPE

3. Can you roll your tongue? -Yes!

4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? No I'm not the Rock or anything

5. Can you blow spit bubbles? -Yes!

6. Can you cross your eyes? - I love it:)

7. Tattoos? - Soon.

8. Piercings and where? - Ears, B. Button, Mouth

9. Do you make your bed daily? - Hahah. Well It looks made cause I sleep on top of the comforter with different blankets


-- CLOTHES --

10. Which shoe goes on first? - I'm not all about shoes. But I guess the Right one usually.

11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? - Yes...I'm Dangerous.

12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? -I got the good ole Mastercard.

13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? Earrings, 3 Rings, Anklet, Necklace from Jeff, Plastic Bracelets, and Shell Bracelet

14. Favorite piece of clothing? - stripey pants with my jean jacket

-- FOOD --
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? - twirl!!!!!!

16. Have you ever eaten Spam? -I'm scared too.
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? - Ughh. Mint Chocolate Chip.

18. How many cereals in your cabinet?-maybe like 5.
My new fav is the one with Bananas

19. What's your favourite beverage? - Vanilla Starbucks Frap.

20. What's your favorite restaurant? -Fast Food- Sonic other- um Chilies.
.
21. Do you cook? -I can. But I don't enjoy it.
-- GROOMING --

22. How often do you brush your teeth? like 3 times a day or more.

23. Hair drying method? Air. or blow dryer.
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? Yea...hello Roots are comin in.
-- MANNERS --

25. Do you swear? Fuck yes. I love to
26. Do you ever spit? Not infront of people.

-- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE --

27. Animal?- I have a thing for elephants. ahahaha.not really.

28. Food?- fruit.

29. Month?- June

30. Day?- Friday
31. Cartoon?- AquaTeen!

32. Shoe Brand?-I don't like shoes that much...flipflops.:) and they don't really have brands.
33.

Subject in school?- Geography:) I liked and Education Class
34. Color?- PINK
35. Sport?- I'm not abig sports fan...

36. TV show?- THE OC
37. Thing to do in the spring? ugh make mud pies.

38. Thing to do in the summer? -get skin cancer.
39. Thing to do in the fall? -jump in large piles of leaves
40. Thing to do in the winter? Build snowmen
-- IN AND AROUND --

41. The CD player? - Incubus. Sugarcult. Tinker's Punishment. GAG.
42. Person you talk most on the phone with? -Jeff...
43. Ever taken a cab? No.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?- Yep.

45. What color is your bedroom?- blue. light light blue.
46. Do you use an alarm clock? yes. I Usually wake up before it...it just helps me out when I fall back asleep.
47. Window seat or aisle? WINDOW for sure.
-- LA LA LAND --

48. What's your sleeping position? -side. back.

49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?- yea. I sleep in the basement its always cold.

50. Do you snore?- Maybe. softly.
51. Do you sleepwalk?- No.
52. Do you talk in your sleep?- No.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No.
54. How about with the light on?- can't.

55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?- Can't do that either.

just be over.
please.

Date:	2004-05-06 13:04
Subject:	we shouldn't be so concerned.
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off

Tammi just took me off her friends list.
haha.

FUCK YOU TOO.
because what?
what did I do?
I ignored you...
wait, no I didn't ignore you so to speak, I just put you behind a few people on my priority list.
and you know what...
I think you would do the same thing if you were with Wesley...
choose him over me.
so yea. what the hell is that suppose to mean?
do you not want to work at dover with me?
you think I just used you to be your friend when I needed you...don't you? well, that's where you are wrong.
I wanted to help you. I wanted to make you happy.
but I realized I couldn't...
and it really freaked me out when that one night I dropped you off and you did what you did.
I felt responsible...
I don't know where I'm goin with this.

I just wish people would fucking...I don't know...understand me.
and the few people that do, those are my friends I guess.

Date:	2004-05-03 22:07
Subject:	I like this.
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Beauty
In a survival situation, you:	Fight, but reluctantly
Your hidden talent is:	Spiritual wisdom
Your gift is:	An iron constitution
In groups, you:	Feel uncomfortable
Your best quality is:	Your empathic nature
Your weakness is:	Your lack of sensitivity
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!